Emo for the day

Mostly I feel good, but sometimes I get emo. Right now I am emo.

Electronics are stressing me out, as is a more private situation. I’m trying to synthesize my thoughts on global warming in a 5 page report, but getting past half a page is proving to be impossible right now. I feel like crashing and burning, so Amy gave me a cigarette and I went outside to smoke it. I’m at the UIUC Undergrad Library, in the lower level, so when I exited to smoke I really entered a courtyard that is in a giant ditch of sorts. The undeniable symbolism of smoking a cigarette in a massive ditch was simply crushing. I felt like putting out the cigarette in my eye, taking shots of tequila until passing out and puking up my intestines in the neatly placed shrubbery.

But that was just a short lived fantasy. Right now I actually do feel like I might throw up. Stupid cigarette. Stupid me for smoking a cigarette. Stupid climate change for making me feel like a useless output of carbon.

Ahhhh. That almost feels better. Ranting to the internet was just what I needed. Now all I need is my cell phone back and for my computer to stop being a little shit. And a date.

Lizzie